For some trans people, comfortable language comes from sticking to gender-neutral words like “junk”, “bits”, or “genitals.” “Outies” and “innies” are also fun, cutesy, and ungendered ways of talking about certain genital configurations. Just like people in general, every trans person is different and has different desires regarding how their body should be referred to. A major element of that respect is referring to people’s body parts in ways that feel comfortable to them. But plenty of transgender people, even those who experience dysphoria around their genitals and might want gender-affirming care, are happy to be sexually embodied with others as long as they’re being treated respectfully. For some trans folks, this can mean they’d rather never talk about or engage sexually with their parts until they can receive gender-affirming surgeries. Many trans people experience dysphoria which, for some, is elevated when it comes to their chests or genitals. Transgender people are another group who might benefit especially from getting to pick how their bodies are referred to. Intersex people who don’t fit into the imagined sex binary might not always want their parts referred to in ways others assume. People who have suffered sexual assault or abuse may find they require specific terminology when talking about their body, or want to avoid certain trigger words for their parts. Why Some Need New Wordsįor some people, picking and choosing comfortable words is especially important. Even I would never want to refer to my or someone else's parts with incel terminology though, for example. I use “cunt” casually or in sexual settings all of the time because for me it feels sexually charged. Even that’s not the same for everyone, though. As another example, many people have negative associations with the word “cunt”, so randomly referring to someone else’s body part that way could shut them down sexually or deeply insult them. Using the wrong term might sometimes just be a bit of a turnoff while throwing certain words around without asking could be hurtful to a partner. As an example find the word “vagina” overly medical for dirty talk, but my roommate is absolutely fine with it. Some of them sound more medical, some are more vulgar, and some are just silly like “Purple-Headed Yogurt Slinger.” The thing is, not everyone has the same association with these terms. There are so, so many words for body parts and an astounding amount are just for genitals. So let’s talk about why people might like some terms more than others, why that’s important, and how to have that conversation! The thing is, not everyone is comfortable with the same language when it pertains to their parts, not to mention the fact that many people have bodies that don’t fit into the sexual binary. It’s possible you think of the parts in your underwear as obviously one or the other and you don’t understand why someone would ask. What’s that you have there? Do you want me to call it a pussy, or how about a dick? You might not have heard this question before, and maybe it even seems a little weird.
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